Principle 3. Listening to What is Being Meant, Not Just What is
Being Said.
Ask yourself. Do you really listen to people? Do you really
listen to and actually attempt to understand what they are saying
and meaning without letting your own interpretations get in the
way?
This is how most people listen. 45% of the time is spent doing
what? Working out what they’re going to say next!
Another 45% of the time is spent waiting for a gap in the
conversation so that they can say it!!! Leaving only 10% of the
time for actual listening!
So are we listening when we spend only 10 % of the time doing it?
No we're not!
So what percentage of time must we listen?
100%!
To actually listen to, hear and understand what another person is
saying, we must spend 100% of the time listening.
Now, you might ask, how do you listen 100% of the time without
thinking? Well, here are a few clues.
First, you can think 10 times faster than most people can talk.
If you know how the features of your solutions solve problems,
you'll hear what specific features are relevant and how to talk
about them later as specific advantages and benefits.
It takes the guessing out of what to present and how to present
it. Imagine having all your features in lots of automatic drawers
in your mind... just like your CD drawer in your computer... and
having the correct ones automatically pop out based on what you
hear a person wants.
Secondly, you don't have to think about what you're going to ask
next, because;
1. You will know what questions to ask and when to ask them by
learning from a powerful framework that is available to you in
the Natural Selling Approach
2. What you're going to ask is also found in the answers you get
to your previous questions! It's all there! It's just that you
have to listen to the answers to get the information
Thirdly, stop re-interpreting what people say to you based on
your own biases or life's experiences, or your own judgments,
prejudices and thoughts! All this does is get in your way of
understanding. People don't think what you think they think!
You're thinking that they do can get in your way!
For example, have you ever had someone respond to a remark you
made and it was totally out of context with what you meant, and
you wondered where he or she was coming from? Well, it's likely
that the other person was interpreting what they thought you were
talking about. Do you do the same thing to others?
If you don’t listen and are impatiently waiting to say what you
want to say you’ll miss vital clues to help your potential
partner or customer come to a logical conclusion to change.
Result? You’ll miss the mark and will meet resistance most of the
time!
Let's look at this more closely. What do you normally listen for
when people reply to your questions? Do you listen to what you
want to hear with the intent to reply based on what you want to
say? Or do you listen with the intent to understand where the
other person is coming from and reply to them based on their own
deep inner truth?
People Have Two Truths
For example, if you ask a person whether they like their job, or
whether they like the skin care products they are presently
taking, would you hope they would say no? In the Natural Selling
Approach, it doesn't matter what they answer, because people
carry "Two truths". The Natural Selling Approach allows people to
reveal both sides of their truths, and reveal which is the
stronger.
Here is an illustration. If you ask someone if they like where
they live they could reply Yes or No. If they said, "Yes", and
you asked later, "If you could live anywhere else, where would
that be?" and they gave another location, you will have
discovered there is another truth to explore. One of those two
"Truths" will ultimately reveal itself as stronger than the
other.
If they replied "No" to the first question and were subsequently
asked the same question about living somewhere else, again the
real truth gets revealed.
Listening is such a powerful skill. If you learn how to listen to
people you'll find that they will immediately be attracted to you
and most will want to listen to you. A large part of my book is
spent demonstrating how you can do this.
Now you've covered some of the basics behind the importance of
listening, let's turn your attention to what you're listening
for. We'll recap the Principle:
Listening to What is Being Meant, not Just What is Being Said.
The two key words here are, said and meant.
Said is the logical or factual side of the problem solving
equation. It comprises about 10% of the problem. Meant is the
personal, feelings or subjective side... and it comprises the
other 90%.
In The Natural Selling Approach what is important is to focus
more on what is being meant. Why? Well, do people make changes
based mostly on logic or feelings? Feelings! So that is the
level you have most of your dialogues.
To illustrate this, think of someone saying they don't have
enough money. Is that a fact or a feeling? It's a fact! They
might say it with feeling, but it's still a fact.
So if you were to ask someone, "What one thing would make a
difference in your life?", which is a logical question, and they
said, "More money", which is a logical answer... and you then
responded with your solution by saying, "I can show you how to do
that"... you would be talking at a logical and factual level. And
what response do you think you would get from most people?
Negative or positive? Mostly they will reject your idea.
The reason is that talking logically with people won't help you
very much to help them because you're only addressing 10% of
their problem if they have one!
If you want to be of help, find out what is underneath this
problem called "lack of money". In other words, find out what is
causing it, what it means to them personally and how they feel
about it. Find out the meaning of what they say, not just what
they are saying. You will find their answers are totally unique
to them, and if you respond to their uniqueness as opposed to
coming out with a canned presentation or script, you will
automatically attract them to you.
"Facts belong to the world. Feelings belong to the individual".
If you ask without manipulation, most people will tell you.
It's also where the relationship and the sale is. To be more
precise, it's where both of you can discover if there is a need
and the depth of desire to do something about it.
So understanding how to listen and what to listen for and how to
respond is vital in the Natural Selling Approach.
And when you understand what someone wants and why they want
it.... you will be able to customize your solution and present it
in such a precise way that it will mean something to the other
person based on how they see things. Why will you be able to do
this? Because they will have told you everything you need to know
to make your winning presentation.
MONEY MAKERS
